The first few weeks of adjusting to life with a newborn baby and a 3 1/2 year old has been very tough, definitely a lot harder than I thought it would be. Trying to juggle playing with Ava and giving her attention, keeping the house tidy, cooking meals, keeping on top of washing and of course breastfeeding a very hungry, clingy baby boy is challenging to say the least.
I have days where I could pull my hair out in frustration, I know people say ignore the house work when you have a new baby but I really can’t. I can’t relax knowing the house is a mess and stuff needs doing! But I can’t always get it done because Fin doesn’t like being put down he had to be on me pretty much all day when he was a newborn and then Ava wants me to colour and draw with her or play with her so I found I was getting very frustrated and wishing for night time- add that to being woken up through the night doing night feeds as I am exclusively breast feeding so Anthony can’t help me during the night which is fine I wouldn’t want to change that I just found I let all this get on top of me at times.
Then I sit and just appreciate the fact the Finley is my last baby and I know for a fact once he gets to Ava’s age I will do anything to rewind to these days of him being a baby and wanting to be with me for the whole day. I have to give myself constant prep talks and just tell myself to stop stressing out, leave the dishes for a minute and focus on my babies!
Finley is now 7 weeks and he is getting a lot better, because he’s such a bigger baby than Ava was he needs more feeds and longer feeds to fill him up, but his body can’t always handle that much milk which makes him struggle with his wind and then makes him want me more because he’s in pain, from the day he was born he was feeding so much he couldn’t cope with it but as this past week has gone by I’ve noticed he’s gotten a lot better. He’s my little chunky monkey! He’s also started to let me lie him in his play gym where he will lie for ages and watch the lights and listen to the sounds, I am so grateful I can put him down and he can entertain himself for a bit so I can get stuff done, and Ava can play with him as well which she loves to do.
He’s sleeping pretty well at night time, he’s in his Moses basket next to me and goes from 10-10.30/3-4 then goes back down for an hour or 2 then becomes a bit fussy. Ava wakes up at 7am every morning so I try and get as much sleep as I can until that time. For the last hour or 2 I do tend to put him next to me as he always sleeps better next to me and to be honest I will do anything to get some sleep as I know I need energy to be able to entertain Ava as well.
I do feel mom guilt when it comes to them both which I struggle with at times. When I’m feeding Fin or cuddling him I feel like I also should be doing something with Ava and when I’m drawing with Ava or doing something with Ava I should hold Fin and get him involved. I know it’s probably silly because they both get my love and attention every day, I think I’m just still adjusting to my new role as a mother of 2, it definitely takes time to get used to it but I am also loving every second. Ava is absolutely obsessed with him, she’s the best big sister I knew she would be. Watching them together makes my heart completely full ❤️
Finley has started smiling now, he also loves to talk to us, his little baby noises are the best! Whenever he smiles at Ava she gets so excited she always tells us whenever he does anything she’s mesmerised by him. She’s at the best age at the moment! She will soon be starting full time school, we are trying to savour every moment with her before she starts! My heart is absolutely broken truthfully I have been with her since day one as I have only ever worked part time since her birth so I cannot cope with the fact that 5 days a week she will be away from me. I am also so excited for her and cannot wait to watch her grow in her next adventure of starting school but I am struggling with having to let her go a bit and watch her become a proper little school girl. She’s so smart and clever though she will be absolutely fine and I know that, thank god I have Fin at home with me whilst she is as school.
Party Prep 🌷🦄
I cannot believe Ava is nearly 4 years old, this past year has flown by!! It was just yesterday we were celebrating her last birthday. 4 years old sounds so grown up! I am planning a unicorn themed birthday for her this year as she is obsessed with them and I am also adding in the theme ‘four-ever wild ‘ in the bohemian style. I like to keep with the wild themes for her birthday and will do the same for Fin’s birthdays! I will be making her a unicorn style birthday cake with a topper that says Four-ever wild
On another note I am so excited to plan Fin’s first birthday I am doing it the lumberjack style wild one theme 🌲 I know I’m crazy for even thinking about it as he isn’t even 2 months old yet but since I first became a mother almost 4 years ago I have wished for a boy one day so I can do themes like this. I always get my inspiration from my idol Chelsea DeBoer, her whole home style, her dress style with all her mama bear clothing and her parties she throws for her children are everything. I will be doing my own cake smash photo shoot with him as well. There will be deers and bears everywhere for his party! 🐻🦌
For Ava’s we will be spending the celebrations with close family and friends, her birthday is in August so thankfully we always get nice weather. We have also booked her a little party at a local soft play centre so her and her friends can have some fun for a few hours. I am going to make her a big unicorn birthday cake so she can blow out her candles with all her friends. I never like to buy birthday cakes I will always make both her and Fin’s cakes myself.
This mama is extremely tired and sometimes run down but also so full of love and happiness I could burst ❤️
Kaya's Baby Diary 