Bump + a 3 year old πŸŒ»

I have to say I am enjoying every moment of being pregnant this time around, I genuinely wake up everyday grateful and excited to meet our new arrival ❀️ of course I also wake up with aches and pains and stiff bones from having a heavy belly all night! I can’t say I get much sleep these days, baby likes to wake up most of the night and jump around on my bladder!

We had an amazing Christmas, it was ants first Christmas at home so we got to have a proper family Christmas and to spoil Ava as it’s her last Christmas as an only child. She believed in Santa this year & really understood so it was even more special πŸ’–

I am happy it is all over now though and we can focus on getting ready for our little one! I am so eager to get the nursery prepared, the furniture is coming at the end of this month, as soon as its built and I can put stuff away it’s going to feel very real which is so exciting and also a little scary!! I know going from one baby to two is going to be a huge change, and I plan on just breast feeding so it’s going to be that little bit harder but I cannot wait and I know Ava will want to help out with every part, I cannot wait to watch her as a big sister she is going to be amazing she’s very very excited. We have 2 names we have picked out, I want to wait until birth to officially name baby, just to see their face before we make our final decision, but I am in love with both names so I would be so happy with either 🌍

We have spent the last week training Ava to sleep without a nappy, some may say she should of done this a long time ago but we never felt she was ready until now. It’s been very successful she has been doing it for a week now and not one accident. I am so proud of her! I have one very big girl now. The age she is now is my favourite age so far, seeing her own personality show and the stuff she comes out with has me in stitches she is absolutely amazing I am so proud and blessed she is my baby πŸ’– soon after baby is born we will find out what primary school she has gotten in to! I feel sick at the thought of her going to school, going from 2 1/2 days at pre school to 5 days a week at school is going to be a big shock to the system for us all… well more me than her. I am going to miss her so so much. I am SO grateful I will be on maternity leave for her first term so I am there to take her and pick her up everyday. She will be absolutely fine she is already used to it from going to pre school so I am not worried for her, I am worried for myself. Having to let go a bit and let her grow up is going to break my heart but I am so so excited for her. Thank god I will have another baby to keep me occupied during the day and I will have a chance to spend time with baby alone as well, I am very very lucky.

Baby is so active, I was told at my 20 week scan I had a anterior placenta so I have to go back for a scan at 32 weeks to make sure it has moved otherwise I may not be able to have a natural labour, however the movement I feel from baby each day is insane, baby is so strong and active I feel like they are going to kick out of my belly! So I’m praying that means my placenta has moved. I am very uncomfortable now, I am 27 weeks and my bump is huge! Baby is also so so low it’s putting a lot of pressure on my bladder and back. But I am determined to enjoy every part as I won’t be pregnant again!

The next few weeks (13 weeks until due date) are going to be spent finishing my last few weeks of work, getting everything organised in the nursery, getting all our bags packed and ready.. I want to do it slowly this time and not rush anything even though I am so impatient and cannot wait to pack our hospital bags! I want to make the most of spending time with my best friends whilst Ava sleeps before I have another one attached to me constantly. And of course spend as much time with Ava as I can before we become a family of 4. I have a big feeling baby will make an early appearance so I want to soak up all moments I can with Ava. I have a few weeks from when I finish work until my due date so I will make sure I do stuff with her.

Happy nesting mama here πŸ’«

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Baby Bump Update πŸƒ

I’m officially over half way with my second little baby ❀️ it is going so fast I cannot believe I’m over 20 weeks already! The first 12 weeks went by so slowly and now it’s going so fast, I’m trying to enjoy every minute of my growing little bump. Baby is so active I feel the strongest kicks and movements which I absolutely love 🀰🏻

We have found out the gender of this baby, we decided for Ava’s sake mostly as she was very very convinced that she wanted a sister and it did worry me that she maybe come to the hospital to meet the baby and hate him if he’s a boy. I was very apprehensive to find out, more because I feared I would regret it but

I feel even more connected and bonded to baby since I have found out the gender, it was an amazing experience and I am so glad we decided to. I’ve now had the experience of a surprise baby and found out with the other so I’ve had the best of both ❀️ it makes me even more excited to meet this little baby πŸ€

As we found out the gender in December I made baubles with glitter inside to reveal the sex to my family and friends, I was extremely excited to reveal the gender and do something special for them all! At the moment I am not putting the gender on social media, I still like that only the people I need/want to know, know so I don’t think at the moment I need to put it publicly, maybe after Christmas! πŸ’™πŸ’–

My pregnancy is pretty easy this time, I do suffer extremely bad with heartburn/ acid reflux which seems to be an everyday occurrence and it not pleasant! I also don’t sleep great as my mind is in overdrive and I’m uncomfortable and need a wee constantly, I’ve found with this being my second pregnancy I’m a lot bigger a lot quicker so the symptoms are coming sooner than last time!

I am so excited to enjoy a family Christmas with the 3 of us and make it the most special Christmas for Ava, once Christmas is over I can focus on the baby and getting prepared for their arrival ❀️ it will come around so fast I just want to enjoy my pregnancy and enjoy my time with Ava before we become a family of 4. I cannot wait to watch her become a big sister she kisses and cuddles my bump every day she’s so excited it makes me heart burst ❀️

I feel so blessed to have a healthy little baby growing in my belly and a healthy happy little girl, after the sad start to the year this little rainbow baby is going to complete our little family ….. until I persuade Anthony its time to get our family dog 🐢

Toddler/Baby Update

I’m officially 17 weeks today, I feel like since I announced at just past 12 weeks the weeks are now flying by too quickly! I spent my whole pregnancy with Ava wishing it away so I could meet her, this time I want to enjoy every minute and I want it to last a long time as I am definitely not prepared just yet!

Last night I felt the first kick, the midwife told me I would feel movement earlier this time but I never thought it would be this early. It was amazing and made me realise even more I have another little baby growing inside me! ❀️ baby is now the size of an orange and growing by the minute, I am so excited to meet them but I am in no rush for my due date this time

Ava Update 🦌

Ava is also growing more everyday, she is getting so big and clever she makes me more and more proud everyday. I love we can now have proper conversations together, she’s obsessed with giving me cuddles and clinging to me, I think it’s because she knows I’m pregnant it’s made her more of a mommy’s girl. Which makes me so happy and also slightly nervous for when baby arrives and I have to split my time and my concentration!

We have been busy looking around primary schools for her, I’m so hormonal and emotional that I just want to cry thinking about her starting school next year. I am so excited for her she will love it but it definitely breaks my heart knowing I won’t be with her as much, my baby is going to be a school girl 😭 thankfully I will have another baby to occupy me for the first few months whilst she settles in so I am so happy about that.

We just celebrated Halloween, I didn’t take her trick or treating this year I felt she was a little too young, I let her stay up late and hand out treats to all the children who knocked and she was so excited! Watching her waiting by the door for them to knock melted my heart so much ❀️ becoming a parents is amazing in itself but watching her grow and get excited for holidays like that makes me the happiest mommy ever.

This is the first year she understands who Santa is and that he brings her presents, she’s so excited for Christmas which makes me so happy as it is my favourite time of year and having a child to make it so special for just completes me πŸŽ„ we will be decorating the house together on December 1st it will be amazing this year having her help me ❀️

Happy mommy 🐻🐻🐻

Ava update 🌿

My little 3 year old princess is growing by the minute, since becoming 3 she just seems to have come along so quickly. Her speech is amazing, she is so helpful when I ask her to do something or get something for me she loves to help.

She’s obsessed with art and craft, she will sit all day and colour in pictures or paint pictures. I love watching her concentrating and enjoying doing something other than watching tv as I do get paranoid she watches too much tv! I have to drag her away from her pencils to have a bath at night, she also loves doing it at nursery and is so excited to show me her drawings when I pick her up, my heart melts every time I pick her up ❀️

Every night after bath time we will sit in her bed together and read a story she has picked, that’s always my favourite part of the day πŸƒ

She’s the kindest, most loving little girl I’ve ever seen. She’s so affectionate she loves kisses and cuddles and if she’s around my friends children she will always make sure they are okay and try and give them drinks or toys to play with. For instance If daddy walks in from work with his shoes on she will tell him off for not taking them off. She’s so funny her little personality has definitely blossomed 🌻

Don’t get me wrong, she has her diva moments. She’s not a naughty child at all we very very rarely have tantrums, it’s more if she really wants something and I say no she will have her moment to fight against it and then I will tell her off and the she comes to me and says “sorry mommy” in her adorable little voice which as you can imagine totally melts me! I do try and discipline her when needed though, I would never spoil her that much to make her think she can get away with anything.

I am finding the older she is getting the more I struggle be away from her, at night sometimes she will tell me she’s missed me which in one sense makes me so happy and emotional but also makes me sad, I know how much she loves nursery and she has made friends and has come on so much but on another side I just want her with me 24/7 my little best friend. She makes me so proud everyday I get so emotional every time I think about her, what did I do before she came? She’s been the making of me and I am so excited to see what the future has in store for our little family ❀️

My favourite seasons are upon us Autumn/Winter so I am very excited to do fun activities for Halloween and of course Christmas and then to see what 2019 brings for us 🌱

She’s officially a threenager πŸŒΏ

Well it’s official, my baby girl is 3 years old. It’s absolutely crazy that she is 3, I cannot get over it. I blinked and she went from a tiny baby to a proper little girl! Time flies so quickly. This time next year I will be preparing for her to start school, but that’s definitely not something I am thinking about now I cannot cope with that!

We have had the best weekend celebrating with family and friends. I spent my Thursday night and Friday day and night baking her cakes and other party snacks ready for her birthday party on Saturday. She had a paw patrol themed party this year as she is obsessed with the show, and she loved every second of it.

On Sunday we took her to Chester zoo, it was amazing watching her get so excited over the animals. I am such a big animal lover I would visit the zoo everyday if I could and I can tell she also loves them! It was a brilliant day but so hot. We were definitely exhausted by the end!

And on Monday it was her official birthday, even thought we were very tired from the busy weekend, I still wanted to do something fun for her. We went to carding mill valley where she spent the day playing in the stream and looking for fish. It was the perfect end to a incredible weekend!

I am just so grateful she has so many amazing people who come together to celebrate her! And I am just so overly proud she is my little girl, she’s grown up to be such an incredible little lady. Her speech is amazing she has come along so well, she has also been in big girl pants for the past week and is doing amazing… I guess it is now time for me to accept she’s not a baby anymore and she is growing up and it’s going to go too fast! However as she gets bigger the more she becomes my absolute best friend ❀️ I cannot even describe how much I love her, I look at her everyday and I am just mesmerised by her and the fact that I created her. I am such a lucky mama 🌻

Here’s to another year of making amazing memories ❀️

She’s going to be three πŸ¦ŒπŸ»πŸΊ

My baby is nearly three years old. I’m still coming to terms with it, I feel like having a 2 year old sounds like she’s still so small but having a 3 year old sounds so much bigger she’s not a toddler anymore she’s a actual little girl now. 🌻

As much as I miss her being small, I am really enjoying her age now. She’s found her own personality, she makes me laugh everyday and she melts my heart. She’s the funniest, cheekiest, most caring little girl she makes me so proud.

I am looking forward to celebrating her 3rd birthday with all our family and friends. She’s obsessed with paw patrol so this year is a paw patrol themed birthday party, I cannot wait to see her face when I have set up her party and she sees Skye and chase everywhere, she is going to be so excited.

I feel slightly sick that this time next year she will be getting ready to start school, I’m trying to pretend it’s not happening because it breaks my heart a little. She’s going to be going to nursery for extra days from September so I am hoping she can gain confidence and become a even more beautiful little girl ready to start her next adventure at school.

I just want to tell her to stop growing up, but she will always be my little 6lbs 3oz baby cub 🐺🐻 🦌

Potty training journey

I’m not ashamed to admit when it comes to potty training my toddler I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. I didn’t know the right age she should be when I start or how to even do it so she understands.

I’ve never wanted to be too over the top about it because I want her to enjoy being able to use the potty rather than pushing her to do it because she’s hit a certain age now. I feel like if I let her do it in her own time she will be more willing to do it because she thinks it’s really fun, which she does.

Some people might read this and think I’m really late on doing it and she should be completely potty trained by now but for me I haven’t gotten to a point yet where I think she’s totally ready to tell me every single time she needs the toilet. Every child is so different and for me I think the age she is now is the right time to properly start. She will be 3 in 6 weeks time so I am now on a mission to potty train her by her birthday.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s had her potty for over a year now and she uses it a lot. I wanted her to get used to it as a seat first which she did then over the past few weeks she’s used it as a toilet which I am so happy about and I’m most happy because she’s so proud of herself every time she uses it. I just don’t know how to help her learn to permanently use it as a toilet. The thought of her being out of nappies scared me for some reason I can’t imagine how she will understand fully that she’s not wearing her nappy and she needs to use her potty or the toilet if we are out somewhere, especially as we are always out in the woods walking! where do I take her when she needs the toilet?

How does she sleep every night and not wee the bed? I know she will have accidents but how do I teach her to have a full nights sleep without wetting the bed? I think I might be overthinking it and underestimating her she’s so good at using it and I think after I spend this full week potty training she will surprise me but I can’t help but worry! I don’t want her to get upset when she has an accident because she hates being dirty or wet I know she will freak out

I’m going to spend this week showing her she is meant to use the potty throughout each day and see where it takes us. I know she is definitely at the appropriate age where she should be starting to get out of nappies I just want to take it at her pace and not rush her because she’s getting to a certain age!

I feel like the past 2 years I haven’t had to really teach her something so time consuming, it was more talking and playing and showing her different things. This is the first thing I’ve come across in a while on my parenting journey that I’m slightly worried about but i just hope it goes smoothly and she understands.

Wish me luck mama bears 🐻

Life of a toddler πŸ„

I’ve always said throughout my blogs how bittersweet it is watching my daughter go from a tiny little baby who depended on me not only for love and comfort 24/7 but also food! To now becoming this independent, amazing little girl. I will of course forever cherish my memories of her as a baby but recently I have just realised how much I love her age now. She’s finally at an age where she has her own mind, she can make her own decisions which make me laugh especially when it comes to food choices or even picking her own clothes. She is so funny, the things she comes out with and copies from people around her make me laugh all the time. I can take her out to some of my favourite places and she now enjoys them and can understand a bit more such as going to our local farm or even a walk through the woods. My favourite thing to do with her is go on woodland adventures through our local woods I always want her to enjoy being out in nature and so far she does.

Her speech is getting so good now, I can have normal conversations with her and just about understand her replies to me. Other people still struggle a bit but as her mom I know exactly what she wants or means when she speaks now. She is becoming an amazing little girl she’s definitely not a baby anymore. I am just so proud of the little girl she is becoming ❀️

Don’t get me wrong she is not a happy good girl 24-7, she definitely has a sassy/diva streak in her which she sadly gets from me. We have a lot of little arguments and fall outs when she tries to act up. She’s never been one of those children who throws themselves on the floor and has a massive tantrum (yet) she just cries and tells me ‘No’ and stomps her foot to try and get her own way. When she finally calms down and realises no means no i can talk to her and make her understand why I said no.

She can now put herself to bed and sleep, she likes to read her teddy bears a bedtime story, she wakes herself up and now wakes me up every morning, she picks her own breakfast and tell me what she wants to do most of the time. The interaction I now have with her is amazing I can’t wait to see her grow more and become even more vocal.

She’s the most loving, caring little girl. If she is around my friends children she’s constantly making sure they are okay, always trying to make them drink water and wanting to hug them. If she’s sat next to me she will cuddle me or put her arm around me and kiss my cheek. She honestly makes my heart burst ever day.

I often watch her whilst she doesn’t know just to see what she does when she’s alone, Most of the time she is either reading to herself, or looking after her babies by feeding them and patting them to sleep. I love watching her play and see what type of things she likes to do when she thinks we are not around. Everyday I see her develop on her own it’s incredible to watch ❀️

On another note I have slight anxiety over he fact she’s 3 in 3 months time. How has this happened? I’m starting to plan her party and order decorations and I’m just in shock she’s actually going to be 3 years old. That sounds so old! She’s not a toddler anymore she’s a proper little girl. It’s happy and sad for me as I thought by her third birthday it wouldn’t be long before she was going to be a big sister, I wanted a age gap of around 3 years so I’m that’s sense it also is a reminder that she’s going to be a lot older than I wanted her to be when she becomes a big sister one day. But on a happier note I know the more she grows and the more love and attention she gets from me, ant and everybody around her it will help her grow into a even more loving big sister one day and she will understand even more when it eventually does happen.

My sweet baby girl, you are literally everything 🌿🌻

A sad loss makes a stronger mama πŸΊ

I have been thinking about writing this blog for weeks now, I have been so undecided whether or not I wanted to share this publicly, I really want to because I think it’s something that happens to so many families and is so common but on the other hand It’s hard to think that everybody who’s knows me or sees me will now know and I don’t want it to look like I’m doing this for attention because that’s definitely not why I’m sharing this.

As this is a blog from a mother I think I want to be strong and share my story and hopefully other mothers/families that have experienced this can relate. Motherhood should be a community where we keep each other strong rather than judge.

So ever since Ava has turned 2 I’ve always known that within the next year or so I would definitely want to try for baby number 2. I never wanted my children to be far apart in age but I definitely wanted to wait for Ava to be a little older so she understands more. I know she will be an incredible big sister, she’s the most caring and sweet girl and I know all she will want is to help and be apart of the whole process. And of course I want her to grow up with a sibling and have the strongest bond ever.

So in late January 2018 I found out I was pregnant. I was so shocked but as soon as I saw that second faint line on the test I couldn’t even describe how excited I felt, it was so surreal like oh my god I’m going to have another baby. I couldn’t wait to tell ant! And of course me being me I can’t keep anything from my best friends so I immediately made some announcement pictures to share with them, I wouldn’t of told everybody but I see it as my best friends would know of anything bad happened anyway so I couldn’t keep it from them.

A few days later I surprised them all and told them, it was such an exciting moment. I felt so happy that I had so many people around me that were so excited to watch me become a mommy of 2.

It was around a week later, I had a busy weekend with work, I woke up early on Thursday and went to the toilet as normal, and a tiny bit of blood was there. My heart dropped into my stomach. I think I was in shock so I got ready for work and carried on with my day… as the day went on the bleeding got slightly stronger. I reluctantly rang my doctors and got an appointment for the following morning. He sent me for a blood test and booked me in for a early scan on the Sunday morning. It was an exhausting few days but I just tried to stay calm and carry on my normal routine.

The Sunday morning was the worst, the bleeding has slowed down, I think every mom knows when it’s a miscarriage, you hold onto that hope in the back of your mind that some miracle is going to happen and your still pregnant but I knew I wasn’t. We got to the hospital and the nurse gave me a test to take. As we waited for the results I was preparing myself for a internal scan as I was early on (5 weeks, 4 days) she then appeared and asked me to go into a private room… I didn’t realise the news I was about to get so I went alone. She then told me the test was negative and I broke down. I knew it was going to be but the reality definitely hit me then.

I don’t know if I’m just such a strong person in myself or if it was the fact I know my body can carry and deliver a healthy baby but I cried, I got ready for work and I carried on my day. I can’t sit and home and dwell on the sadness I have to keep going.

It’s a few months later now, I feel okay in myself and as a family we are moving on and looking hopefully into the future as we definitely know we now want to expand our family. And I also know everything happens for a reason and it will happen when it is supposed to happen.

I think my conclusion of the whole experience is that I will always have a sad place in my heart for my little September baby- I will always wonder what gender they would have been, and I will always miss them even though its crazy because the baby wasn’t even a baby but it was to me, it was my baby and I think that because I have now technically already been pregnant twice so my next baby will be my third pregnancy. I find comfort in always remembering my little September baby and it has made me an even stronger person and a even better mama to my beautiful baby girl.

I am so unbelievably grateful for my baby girl she is healthy, happy and loved and I know when the time is right I will have another baby and that baby will be just as loved and my family will be complete.

I hope mamas out here can read my story, relate to it in some way and know that you are not alone and that this happens to so many woman in life, it’s such a heart breaking thing to happen but it’s something to make you stronger and more determined to create the family you want ❀️

From one mama to another 🧑

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