It’s been a big week for us this week as Ava has had her first induction to nursery, she’s only done 2 taster sessions as of yet and starts her proper morning on Thursday. Honestly it’s been harder on me than her which I didn’t expect.
I always knew it would be sad leaving her at nursery, but I didn’t really know how hard it would actually hit me. I’m a very strong person, I very rarely cry or get emotional but this by far was the hardest thing I’ve done since having Ava. She hasn’t cried as of yet, but as she’s only done 2, 2 hour sessions I think she is still wondering what’s going on, when she realises she goes to this place and mommy or daddy leaves her I think she will get upset- which I’m terrified about because if I feel this upset when she’s not crying I don’t know how I’ll be able to leave when she’s upset the thought makes me sick to my stomach with nerves
I am so so happy she’s going to nursery, for the minute it is just one morning a week and within the next few weeks it will be a full day. I wanted her to first be around other children her age, she does have some babies around her from my friends but they are all smaller than her so she definitely needs to socialise more with children her age and I feel it will really help with her development as well. I’m so happy she’s here and I cannot wait for us both to get comfortable with it and it become the normal thing because i know it will be amazing for her. I have enjoyed packing her little bag, we have to provide a rain coat which I obviously bought her a camo one. Ant hates it, thinks it’s too boyish so I sewed on some pink letters spelling her name to make it look more girlie! I also had to provide her with a toothbrush so I of course had to find something cute to put it in, I bought a small clear pencil case and found some woodland animals to decorate it with! Yes I am that mom that has to personalise everything for my baby 🐻🦌
On the other hand I expect every parent feels his way when they first put their baby in nursery. It’s absolutely heart breaking leaving your baby with people she doesn’t know, I feel guilty, I feel sick to my stomach I just want to take her home as soon as we arrive there. I really pray this feeling fades as I will soon be dropping her and having to do a full days work which will be difficult with this awful anxious, sick, upset feeling I’m getting at the moment! She’s always my little baby girl I am having a really hard time adjusting.
On a happier note I think i am going to enjoy having a few hours to visit friends with their new babies, having some time to do housework without Ava running around or go shopping without having to drag a grumpy toddler around different shops and in and out of the car so I will appreciate it much more! I think it will also make me appreciate her even more as well, being without her for them few hours makes me just miss her so much it’s such a different feeling than when I’m at work and she’s with a family member.
I guess watching your baby grow up within a split second and having to let go abit so they can grow up will only get more difficult as they get older, I’m definitely just cherishing every single moment with her! Makes me emotional when writing this one, I am genuinely shocked with how hard it’s hit me, she’s only going one day a week I am much more of a wimp than I thought!
I will keep updating my blog on how nursery is going, hopefully the next one will be a much happier feeling one!