Today I celebrated my first mothers day. So this post is a reflection of my time being a mommy so far.
Becoming a mom was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I am so thankful everyday that I have a healthy, happy baby, a amazing and supportive boyfriend who is also the best most loving father for Ava. I could not ask for anything more.
Becoming a mom has also been the most hardest thing I have ever done. It is definitely the toughest job in the world. The demand I have upon me is incredible, I am in charge of looking after her every single day, I cannot leave her for long amounts of time because I am one of her main food sources, I have her in our own routine throughout each day. Night time wouldn’t be possible without me there every single night. I wouldn’t change any of this for the world. I knew how hard it was going to be but I never knew actually how much of a demand it was going to be, Its mostly due to the fact she will not have a bottle which we will work on until she takes it which will let me have some mommy time now and then.
I will spend the rest of my life taking care of her and any future siblings we have for her and I will happily do this, I believe I was meant to be a mommy it has made my life so perfect, and having a day like mothers day to have people tell you how good of a job you are doing and to be shown appreciation and love from family and friends is amazing. I no I am doing a good job but know and then I do need reminding that I am doing a good job and that I am a good mom to Ava. Everyone needs some reassurance now and again.
Today I am just taking a step back and realizing even more how lucky I am to have her and to have such supportive close friends and family members. I went on my first night out last night with my close group of friends, It was such a nice feeling having time to myself and to get out of mommy mode for a few hours whilst she slept, having my hair and make up done, a night not wearing my tracksuit bottoms or being covered in baby sick was a bonus! I was constantly checking my phone waiting for Anthony to text me to tell me I need to come home because shes awake and wants feeding but the angel slept straight through and mommy got some time to herself. As much as I enjoyed being out with my friends letting my hair down and seeing how much my friends loved me being out after nearly 2 years, It also showed me how much my life has changed now. I used to love going out, having lots of alcoholic drinks and staying on the dance floor until 3-4 am without a care in the world. Last night I was sober (still breast feeding) and more than ready for my bed by 1 am which I already felt was later than I should of stayed out. I will go out again in the future of course and have great nights with my friends but my happy place will forever be at home, tucked up, cozy with my little family.
Every mom will have the same feelings as me. Being with your friends letting your hair down is an amazing feeling after having children and you will always need that but being at home on a Saturday night, snuggled with your babies and partners is the best feeling in the world. I am excited to grow older with my friends and enjoy nights in with movies and junk food as we all start our own families and watch our children grow into the teenagers we all once were.
Happy Mothers day to all you amazing mothers!